How To Be A Survivor Not A Victim

Self Improvement

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By G.Thomas Stewart
Has anyone ever said to you –that is because you are a survivor –
So what is meant by those words? Well it means that, yes you might have got yourself in a rut of a situation, but you keep coming back. You have developed coping skills and are resourceful to get on with the process of revitalization.

There are some key points to being a survivor and not remaining a victim. No matter what caused the situation you are in or the mess that has been caused by yourself or others. You have a strong sense that comes about and tells you that you really do not want to continue in a state of victimization or anguish.

A sense comes about that the pain you have caused or others have caused is already done. That is the first step in the process. and accept it. You have no power to change the past but you do have at least some power to develop the future — the now.

The very first thing you can change is your attitude about how you are accepting the situation as it is and not hiding behind a facade of delusions, rationalizations and justifications about it all. Take a look at the facts as they are and not your feelings and fantasies that may be there, they have no usefulness in the moment.

You look for and find a path albeit maybe difficult, to climb your way out to a better state.

Then you decide am I going to wallow in sorrow or try finding some happy moments while I am digging my way out? The answer to a survivor is to contemplate that once you know some simple actions to work on you might as well try to be at least a little bit pleased by your effort to work it out. That is the attitude you take. One step at a time is the best approach.

Learn to adapt. There may be things that are taking you down and their is no way that you can implement control or decisions. Okay so recognize it. Their may come a time when you can regain some control. Can you see a time in your future? Sometimes making long term plans can be reassuring and motivating.

A survivor is one who can put aside immediate expectations. Learn to cut your losses, accept when their is nothing you can do in some cases but then start looking for how to adapt to the situation and make some gains; always treasuring in the back of your mind how different your future may be.

Here is a thought to keep in mind: Give a thought (any thought) about how things (any things) cable TV going to be cut-off? Some people have no TV. Do you have a broken leg? Some people are cripple and cannot stand or walk. Are you living in a shelter? Some places have no shelters. Cannot pay your mortgage? Some have no house and rent a shabby room or live in the streets. Not being treated properly at work? Some people have no job. That is how that mental process works, and it DOES WORK.

Much of the negative influences that are affecting us are only because we are stubbornly arrogant and righteous about what we think we deserve. We think and know we deserve better but those are not the cards we have been dealt. You need to get over it and let go of the feelings. I know it may not be easy. Go forward finding positive things that you do have right now today.

Sometimes developing an essential survival skill is necessary. Develop a thought process that after time actually becomes a survival skill. Here is one: Begin conscious planning of how to get where you want to be. If I do this then that will happen, and maybe those things will happen. And if those things happen what are my choices etcetera and on. Try to be aware. Be aware of your choices right now. Make choices. Get any help where you need it. Do the things you need to do that will further your direction Above all a survivor never really gives up even when he or she appears to have done so.        by GTS

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3 Comments

  1. eagle "ed"  •  Jun 15, 2010 @01:24

    We have a choice before us each day of our lives. We can allow the circumstances of daily living to run roughshod over our total being and fill us with all kind of negative thoughts and feelings. Giving into these thoughts will keep us in the mode of victiminization , sorrow and defeat. We have a choice to make, wether to allow the negative stinking thinking to keep us victimanized or to choose to let go of the stinking thinking and becoming focused on more positive thoughts and seek to be a survior rather than a victim. I really believe that the most important stewardship we each have is the keeping of our own hearts. King Solomon wisely declares in Proverbs 4:23 “Keep your heart with all diligence, for out of it springs the issues of life.”

  2. Chris Merklinger  •  Jul 11, 2010 @03:25

    I suppose that if we are to survive as a species those of us who best adapt to say climate change, orwelian ‘newspeak’, or other calamities become the survivor rather than the victim.
    re your website….well done! keep up the good work.

  3. Doloris Lachat  •  Nov 15, 2010 @16:57

    A problem is a chance for you to do your best